I think I spent about a solid year of my life as a mother feeling inferior to other women. I was a new mom trying to find my way, focusing my energy outwards when it should ALWAYS be focused inward. I can’t tell you when or how that shifted for me, but what I can now say for sure is that I am a confident mom. That doesn’t mean I don’t question what I do or that I don’t continuously strive to be better, but what that does mean is that I DO NOT compare myself to other mothers. I know deep in my heart that my journey is mine and mine alone. My children are uniquely mine and my intuition knows who and how to be to them. As a mother, this is freedom. You can have real genuine relationships with other women without superiority, inferiority, jealousy or cattiness. Honoring the type of mother you are is honoring your soul’s purpose. In honor of Mother’s Day I want to send love and acceptance to ALL moms. You are all doing a great job.
To the mom with the picture perfect vaginal birth- You did it! Your body went through an incredible journey and at the end your body was used to birth your child in the most natural way. It was hard, I know, but you should be so proud of yourself. I am so proud of you. Great job, mama.
To the mom with the unplanned c-section- You did it! I’m sure you tried to do it the “conventional” way and for whatever reason your body and your baby had other plans. You went through a major surgery to have your child and that is incredible. You made an educated choice to get your child here as safely as possible. You should be incredibly proud of yourself. Great job, mama.
To the mom who carried her children- Conception and pregnancy are miracles. Even with several children that is never lost on me. You and someone you loved came together and created life. It’s beautiful and magical and something to be honored. Great job, mama.
To the mom who did not physically carry children- Being a mother to an adopted child, a child through surrogacy or a step-mother is a beautiful thing. What a miracle it is that you were able to become a mother to a child in your own way. I’d imagine you never gave up until your dream of motherhood came true. It was a journey that was designed for YOU. I have no doubt that before your soul was even here that child was planned in perfection just for YOU, regardless of how that child was placed in your arms. Great job, mama.
To the mom who stays home with her children- If this was your dream like it was mine I am so happy for you! You get to spend your days exactly as your heart desires and that is so important for your children. Maybe this wasn’t your dream. Maybe you don’t have the type of job that makes childcare worth it and here you find yourself at home. You’re doing a wonderful thing. You are there for it all and THAT is priceless. I know it can be hard, but you are giving your child such a gift. Great job, mama.
To the mom who works outside of her home- Perhaps you love your career and it is an important part of your identity. Maybe you need to work and it is not what you would necessarily choose, either way YOU are giving your children such a gift too. You are showing your children how to be who you are and do what you want (or need to) to raise a family. You have (most likely) meticulously chosen your childcare and I am sure that your children are getting enormous gains by being around people outside of their family during the day. Great job, mama.
To the mom who breastfeeds- I am a huge lover and supporter of breastfeeding. I breastfed all of my children and am currently still breastfeeding my 1-year-old. If you are breastfeeding I am so proud of you. You are giving your child the gift of nature, the gift of using your body as it was designed. The bond is incredible. I also know that at times, especially in the beginning, it can be a challenge. If you desire breastfeeding your children, stick with it, it gets so much easier and so much more rewarding. Great job, mama.
To the mom who bottle feeds- I am a huge lover and supporter of feeding and nourishing your baby any way YOU see fit. Maybe you tried and tried and it just wouldn’t work for you. Maybe you made your own educated decision to skip the breastfeeding and start right away with the bottle. Whatever the reason, I know that you did it out of love. If something stresses you out, you can be assured that it stresses your baby out as well. By choosing to bottle feed I’d imagine you made yourself happier and therefore your baby happier. Great job, mama.
To the mom who makes her own baby food- What a gift you are giving your child. A natural, healthy diet will set them up for the rest of their lives. I’d imagine they will probably crave healthy foods in general and the effort you put in to making that happen does not go un-noticed. Great job, mama.
To the mom who lets her 1-year-old eat McDonald’s (this may or may not be yours truly)- You want the best diet for your children too. I know they eat fruits and vegetables and a well balanced diet most of the time, but hey you are busy. And you are probably busy giving your older children a full life. Sometimes that means fast food. You are teaching your children balance and I’m sure they will have a healthy relationship with food understanding that sometimes they can have treats. Great job, mama.
To the mom who co-sleeps- I have only co-slept when it was of necessity or to make my night go smoother. If I had the choice I’d be sprawled out in my king with no one to elbow me in the face. I did however have my child within arms reach for an extended period of time. I completely appreciate and understand how constant accessibility and physical contact is a great way to nurture and raise a child. It’s admirable. Great job, mama.
To the mom who lets her baby cry it out- I can almost guarantee you don’t want your child to cry. But I can also guarantee that you and your spouse hit a point where the sleep deprivation became too big a burden to bear. Took too much of a toll. I’d also imagine you did your research and followed a plan. Maybe it was hard for a night….or even a few nights, but maybe now your child can blissfully fall and stay asleep. You have a healthy attachment to your child and want the best for your household. You are providing your child with self-soothing techniques. It’s the best choice for your family because it’s YOUR choice. Great job, mama.
To the mom with the supportive partner- A family unit. It’s probably what you’ve always wanted. It isn’t always easy is it? But when you have that one person on your side to share the burden with, you feel like you can do anything. A life partner who is your equal and brings out your best can only enable you to be the best mother you are capable of. That relationship takes nourishment too and I know how hard it can be to give yourself to another when you already give so much of yourself to your children, but the effort is so worth it isn’t it? From that unity you get another person to travel this journey with. You are giving your children the gift of seeing how to nourish a loving partnership. Great job, mama.
To the mom doing it on her own- I’d be willing to bet that the vast majority of you didn’t intend to fall into this category, and maybe some did and that’s great too, but which ever way you slice it, raising a child on your own has got to be one of the most challenging things I can think of. Maybe you feel like your kids are missing out because there is only one of you. One of you to blame, one of you to pick up the pieces, one of you to be the good guy and the bad. You know how much admiration your child will have for you when they are grown? Do you know the pride you will feel when you look at that grown child and know you have no one to thank but yourself? You’re doing it, it might be hard, but you’re doing it. Great job, mama.
To the mom with the healthy kids- Keeping our kids healthy is so hard, isn’t it? A good bit of it is luck but on the other hand I know how much energy you put into making sure your kids get the right amount of sleep, take their vitamins, brush their teeth, have a proper diet and go to their check-ups. All we ever want is for our children to be healthy and I know that in any way that it is within your control you are doing your best to help them stay that way. Great job, mama.
To the mom with a sick child- You have done everything right like the rest of us. You have made the healthiest possible choices for your child that were within your capabilities. You have a sick child, and that is out of your control, but within your control? How you continue to mother. I am in awe of you. Parenting healthy children is tough enough and your burdens are greater, but you persevere. Your child will learn strength and bravery from watching you on this journey. Great job, mama.
To the mom back to her pre-baby body- You are amazing. You have found the time to invest in yourself and you are showing your children how to be strong and healthy. I know that they notice that and they will grow up to take care of themselves too. Great job, mama.
To the mom carrying extra weight- You’re tired. You want your pre-baby body, but your energy is so drained. You know you’ll get there someday. You are showing your children self-love and self-acceptance through your journey. You are also showing them how amazing a woman’s body is and that you aren’t in a hurry to erase the evidence of carrying them. Great job, mama.
To the mom with a large family- Having one child is work enough and you have chosen to expand beyond that and give your children the gift of siblings. You have built-in opportunities to teach your children about respect and flexibility and getting along with other human beings. You have also given your child the gift of built-in friends. I know it can be overwhelming to have so many people who need you, but the love of a large family is so rewarding. Great job, mama.
To the mom of an only child- Whether by choice, or not, you have the incredible ability to devote all of your love and energy on one little human being. That has got to be so amazing for your child. You still have quite the task ahead of you and don’t let anyone take that away. I honestly think I was a more stressed out mom with 1 than 4, so don’t feel like you aren’t putting in as much work as everyone else. Your child will learn a valuable lesson in independence and creativity that children who have others around them constantly aren’t privileged to. Great job, mama.
To the mom of young children- Girl, you are in the THICK of it and I am right there with you. We have been given the responsibility of raising up these little humans and we so desperately don’t want to screw it up. You are under so much pressure, but you are doing it. Great job, mama.
To the mom of children who are grown- It must be so nice for you to admire your grown children and to enjoy the years of work you have put in. Your job is still not over and I know it must be hard to nurture adult relationships as a mother. I know it must be difficult to stand by and let them make their own choices. You are transitioning into a new role and it’s the way the journey of life unfolds. Great job, mama.
Join me in uniting and celebrating all moms. I have never felt so close to another group of women as I have since I have become a mother. I can look into the eyes of another person walking the same incredibly difficult, incredibly rewarding path as me and instantly feel love towards them. We need each other. We are in this together. Great job, mamas.
The Enlightened Mama