I was inspired to write this last week while I was reflecting on 9 years of marriage (having just celebrated my wedding anniversary). This is not a “my relationship is so marvelous post”- I really get a very icky feeling with bragging and I genuinely do my best not to- think of this as more of a “I’m really proud of my relationship, and while not perfect, we both work really hard at it.” I’m not using my writing for the sole purpose of shedding light on my marriage, but to use what I’ve learned and try to share it with others. I write this today because there is something I have discovered about being in a marriage, or any long term committed relationship really, that I want to share with you. Partially based on my own discoveries and partially based on things I have read by Gary Zukav regarding a “spiritual partnership.” My basic message to you? Any relationship that you are currently in should be meant for your growth. If you are choosing to share your life someone it’s time to asses if they bring out your absolute best.
I was extremely intrigued by something I read in The Seat of the Soul a while back. Basically Zukav was discussing how many years ago the human race NEEDED marriage. It was a survival thing. It was the point in our evolution that we were at. Now? Not so much. Our souls have advanced and not one of us needs to be dependent on another person. Everything we are looking for we hold within the depths of our soul. It’s not necessary, really even to have children it’s not necessary. So if it’s not necessary shouldn’t it at the least be to our benefit? Here comes spiritual partnerships. The only real reason that anyone today would need marriage is to advance their soul’s journey. To fulfill their purpose. We can still honor the tradition of marriage but it’s time to view it as having a purpose much greater than ourselves.
Think about what your purpose may be. The specific (maybe being a mom) or the general (maybe spreading love in all of my actions). Think about your partner. Do they love, support and accept you enough to help you with your life’s purpose? And conversely do they challenge your wrong doing and poor behaviors so you can be the best you? If you can honestly answer yes to that you are engaged in a spiritual partnership and life is more likely to be inspired and joyful for you.
We can obviously learn so much from the negative forces in our life too, especially when those negative forces are so intertwined with our daily lives, such as in a spouse. It’s up to you to figure out when you will learn the lesson and move past your current situation. It is 2016. Divorce is not taboo. Single parenting is not taboo. Second and third marriages are not taboo. If you are not living a life of happiness make the choice to. Happier people make happier children who make a happier and more peaceful world. You do you boo.
I dedicate this to my husband who has shown me with his actions time and time again that his spiritual journey and mine were destined to be and how we both allow and enable each other to be the best versions of ourselves. NOT perfect. Perfect for each other.
The Enlightened Mama