Archive | February 2015

There Are No Justified Resentments

Don’t we all want peace? Don’t we want peace for our children and our loved ones? We really can have it so easily if we would just get out of our heads. Or get our heads out of our asses…whichever you prefer. One message that I continually carry with me (and have to remind myself of frequently, but hey that’s why I’m human) is one of Wayne Dyer’s Secrets for Success and Inner Peace. THERE ARE NO JUSTIFIED RESENTMENTS. If you are someone who holds onto victimization or frequently finds themselves in conflict with others then this statement might not jive with you, but I assure you it is a MUCH happier way to live. AND if your mind immediately tells you that all, some or any of your resentments in life are justified then I think you need this lesson more than any. Open your heart and read on.

Think of all of the resentments and offenses you take to things on a daily basis. Maybe some of them are really big deals (i.e. blaming a parent for the way you turned out) or maybe some are simple (I can not believe that person said that about me!! It’s not true!!!) what if you decided to release them? Your Ego is going to have a huge resistance to this but your soul knows that this is your true nature. Dr. Dyer discusses how this gives you your control back. If you place blame on other people and things then you’re going to have to sit around and wait until that person makes it right or apologizes or changes their behavior…that’s a lot of precious time to waste in my opinion. If you take responsibility for every low level energy you feel then you can change that in an instant. You can choose love and happiness and PEACE above all else. No waiting for some outside source to release your pain. You will also be releasing the need to make others wrong. Focusing on being the best you can be and not looking to constantly blame is a freedom like you wouldn’t imagine. It’s a way more beneficial place to put your energy.

We all know people in our lives that appear to thrive on being victims. They only want to discuss the dramas in their lives and focus on the bad behaviors of others. We can’t tell these people to change but we can lead by example. Show them that there is a way out of their hurt. This is also true for our children who can be like our little shadows. If you have the ability to affect the development of children whether it be through parenting, teaching or caregiving remind yourself that they watch everything you do. They SEE who you ARE. You can talk as much talk as you want but you need to walk the walk. Show them on a daily basis that you never need to place blame on others for your feelings and that you don’t hold onto resentments or grudges. Teach them forgiveness by BEING forgiving. And speaking of forgiveness, this is essential to letting go of your resentments. You don’t even need to let the other person know that you no longer resent them for something they have done or said. By releasing your need to be offended (a weak energy) and giving away love and forgiveness you are immediately changing your spiritual dynamic with the people in your life.

I understand that there are some things that have happened in your life that may have really hurt you and those things might have been the direct result of another person’s actions. I’m not dismissing your feelings, but if you could try to understand that your hurt feelings are really just your hurt Ego then you can try to look at the situation with a new set of eyes. Think of the people in your life that you place blame on and realize that what you feel towards them is nothing more than a thought, a judgment. Your soul is naturally loving and forgiving, it’s your thoughts about these people and situations that needs the changing.

I know that this might seem like a difficult task but if you are attempting to live this way for even a small portion of your day it will open your eyes to a new way of life. Once you see that this way of life is entirely more peaceful you will begin to live this way with little or no effort. And just by the basic fact that we are all humans who are here to learn you won’t always get this one right. It won’t always come naturally but it’s all about awareness. Be mindful of your thoughts and feelings, it’s ok to have those lower level energies but let them pass through you; don’t send them out into the world. And by letting go of your resentments you aren’t allowing people to hurt you, it’s the exact opposite honestly, you are simply understanding that nothing CAN hurt you.

If you are the type of person that needs to address things with others then by all means express yourself, but do so lovingly and without judgement. As Wayne so eloquently puts it, “become a person who refuses to be offended by any one, any thing, or any set of circumstances. If something takes place and you disapprove, by all means state what you feel from the heart; and if possible, work to eliminate it and let it go.”

The Enlightened Mama

You Can’t Give Away What You Don’t Have


“You can’t give away what you don’t have.” This is one of the 10 Secrets for Success and Inner Peace by Wayne Dyer (a book I mentioned in my most recent blog post). This kind of seems like a no brainer, doesn’t it? Like yeah I get it, if I want to donate a million dollars to the charity of my choice I actually have to HAVE a million dollars. Sure easy when you think of it like this, but now apply this same idea to the energies and behaviors we give away. When you examine these words and what they mean it is so life changing and can really allow a person to take ownership for the their own energy and their contribution to the world, negative or positive. When you can respond lovingly to a negative situation that’s because you have love on the inside to give away. When you respond negatively to that same situation take a deeper look. Whether it’s anger, frustration, resentment, judgment, etc. all of these low level energies can be given away because for some reason you have them stirring around inside of you. See what I mean? As much as you might think your responses are justified you are fighting fire with fire. You would never be able to give away negative energy if you didn’t have it on the inside. It might be a bitter realization but it’s a great one to make. Your outlook on life and therefore contribution to the world starts within.

If you are a parent (especially to small children) I KNOW a lot of your needs take a backseat. Your family requires an enormous amount of energy. But when you wake up every morning take a moment and think about what you want to give away to your family that day. For me it’s love, acceptance, understanding, happiness, peace, fun and so on. How would I expect to give these higher energies away to my loved ones if I didn’t already have them on the inside? No one wants to give away energy that’s impatient, exhausted or frustrated, but if you are not taking caring of your soul then you will never have the good stuff to give away. Here’s where one of the fundamental lessons to life comes in (in my opinion), it all starts with you. You have to be light, every day….that’s your purpose. You are of no use to those around you if you don’t work out your kinks. You might think you are just peachy but take a moment and examine how you treat people and situations throughout the day. And not just the people that are easy to love and get along with. If you are judgmental, jealous, resentful, frustrated or angry it has nothing to do with the other person. It’s you. Take a look inside and throw that ish out the window. I’m not perfect but when I’m experiencing these low level energies I can almost always self analyze and be real with myself. Might not always be what my Ego wants to hear, but it’s honest and serves my life’s purpose.

So today allow yourself to examine for a moment what it is that you need to give yourself to enable those higher level energies to flow so that you can effectively give them away. And as I frequently discuss the energy you give out will ALWAYS come back, so why not make it positive? Maybe you need alone time, physical activity, sexual activity, time with good friends, a good book, a good movie, a great meal, fun, relaxation, meditation….whatever! If it’s not serving the ultimate purpose of filling up your heart with loving energy DON’T DO IT. You must fill yourself up with love and light so you can serve those around you.

Giving Away Love To You All,
The Enlightened Mama

This entry was posted on February 6, 2015. 2 Comments