Archive | November 2014



What if you approached every situation in life (perceived good or bad) as if you had chosen it? As if you blueprinted it (long before the mind could comprehend) as a pathway to the betterment of the soul. In the Power of Now Eckhart Tolle says “accept whatever arises in this moment as if you had chosen it, and your whole life will be miraculously transformed.” Some of you going through the drudges of life might want to slap me right now but I think if you approach life this way you can have a freeing kind of peace. You can stop trying to analyze and label things as good and evil and just LIVE. You can live with a heart that is fully open to the ins and outs and ups and downs of life. You can cease giving all of your energy to going against things and people around you. Looking at life with this viewpoint will enable you to not actively participate in conflict, it can save you from the depths of despair you feel from loss and heartache and it can give you the peace you are searching for. It can also free you from looking for reasons to be offended all the time. You can also peacefully let go of past hurt and realize that it has brought to you all the lessons your soul has needed. Not to say you should let people treat you poorly, if you need to set boundaries set them, but feel grateful for those in your life that present to you an opportunity to learn something.

We are faced with choices every day and HOW we respond and react to that which lies in front of us is how we create the world around us. Everything. All of it. It’s there because we needed it. Something as seemingly superficial as hearing some hurtful gossip someone has said about you or as deep as getting devastating news about your health or the health of a loved one. Our life can be joyful or painful. It can be hard or it can be easy. Zukav talks in his book “The Seat of the Soul” (mentioned in my previous blog) about taking the vertical path. Every situation set before you is something your soul needs for its growth. Where the free will comes in is in the choices we have and the decisions we make when deciding how to approach all of life’s obstacles. He talks about ALWAYS taking the vertical path. The path of love. The path of peace. The path from your heart. The path that meets the need of your soul. Conflict, anger, hatred, greed, jealousy, negativity, victimizing (yourself and others)… sure you can approach any situation that way but the lesson will be so much harder. The path will be painfully more winding.

How DO we live from our soul? What the hell am I saying when I say to approach everything and everyone with love? I like to think of it like this. Like all of you, my children bring me IMMENSE joy. Even in the craziest, most tiring days, I look at them and just feel such gratitude. Even when things seem overwhelmingly hard, I am thankful. Not only because they remind me that I am living out my life’s purpose but I am also grateful for the ways in which they have taught me how to love. I feel from the depths of my soul that one reason we are given children is to show us how we should be loving everyone and everything. Much easier said than done I know, I KNOW, but it’s almost like a reminder of the love and the light of “home”. The love and the light we all have available to us deep within our soul. It’s a glimpse of how the soul is supposed to love all other souls. It may sound like a completely foreign and impossible task, but take that love you feel for your children (even if it is just a sliver) and try to approach everyone and everything with a glimpse of the light you feel for them. If you even attempt this you are half way there. Living from this part of you is living the life that will meet the needs of your soul. This is the way in which you can approach whatever unfolds before you.

If you are dealing with a health crisis, loss, a minor conflict, relationship or money troubles, hey maybe you are in the best times of your life and you feel like you are living out the dream (I’m happy for you by the way)…you chose it. It’s what you need right now at this particular point in this journey. And if it is particularly painful, the sooner you are able to fully accept and face it with love and learn the lessons needed, the sooner you can move on to the more joyful lessons along your journey.

I’ve had many people in my life ask me why I write these things or where they come from. Sometimes I just wake up and feel inspired out of nowhere from a force greater than myself (I usually think that means someone in my life needs to hear the message) and sometimes it’s because I’m going through something myself and I am the one that needs a little insight. I know that insight is locked away inside of me just like it’s locked away in ALL of us. I’ve always written (you know that reminds me I should probably start shredding some things from my younger days), it’s just that now I feel more of an urge to share whatever I am feeling with those around me. I hope if you are reading this it has triggered something inside of you that has made you want to live out your light and love with a more open heart. “Loving people live in a loving world. Hostile people live in a hostile world. Same world.” (my main squeeze, Wayne Dyer). Lets all do your part to make it a loving world, shall we? This is my small attempt to contribute to that.

The Enlightened Mama


Has anyone read The Seat of the Soul by Gary Zukav? I ADORE this book. I think I’ve read it 4 times. I saw the author on Super Soul Sunday a year or two ago and knew I had to get my hands on his book. When Oprah tells me I should read something well, you know the rest. You see Oprah is a personal friend of mine. And by friend I mean I met her for 30 seconds; but let me tell you, in those 30 seconds our relationship really blossomed. I mean she MUST feel the same way about me. Right? No? Ok whatever. MAYBE you didn’t need my shameless Oprah plug in this exact second but I’ve really been reaching for a way to insert it. I truly feel better for sharing the same space as a woman like Oprah…so incredibly inspiring. Oh and on a side note, want to hear one piece of her wisdom she bestowed upon me? It’s not deep by any means, but it’s fabulous and I HAVE to share it. When you’re taking a picture instead of saying “cheese” she recommends saying “yay.” Makes for a much more natural smile. Brilliant!

I was shocked to learn that Gary Zukav wrote this book in the 80’s. What an incredibly forward thinker. It was published again in 2012 and I think the reason his book is getting attention again is because so many of the souls here on earth are coming to a place of awareness and seeking so much more than previously in history. Maybe now people can really get his book and put it into action. Please read this. I know I tell people to read a lot of books, but at the very least put it on your list. The basic concept of his book is the journey our soul experiences on earth, why we experience situations that we do, and ultimately how to become “whole”. I think whole and enlightened can be interchanged here.

There are a bazillion things I want to share about The Seat of the Soul but today I felt really inspired to talk about Power. There’s the power of the personality (what I typically refer to as Ego, Zukav labels personality) and the power of the soul. He calls the power of the personality “external power” and the power of the soul “authentic power.” If a person is really connected on a personality level and seemingly unaware of their soul then what I understand authentic power to be would probably sound like a joke to them; but if you have any interest at all in reading this blog then I already KNOW that you will get what authentic power is. I have witnessed time and time again how like minded people attract one another so I’m excited to share these ideas with all of you.

Any choice made from fear or to gain some idealized sense of outward “power” will only lead to pain and steer you away from your authentic self. Hatred, jealousy, manipulation, greed…all forms of fear. If any of those play a part into what you would imagine as “power” then this is “external power” and is a complete illusion of the personality. Think you’re better than someone? Think having more money or acquiring more material possessions puts you in a better position of power? Think your position as the CEO is more powerful than the janitor that cleans the bathroom at your place of business? Maybe it’s even as simple as thinking you are more powerful than someone if you can dominate them in an argument or put them down with snide remarks. Maybe its even physical power…maybe as extreme as violence. These are all the fear based ways of the personality. The personality part of who you are is doubting its position in the world (fear) and seeking ways to build itself up. The personality feels fractured and is searching for wholeness, searching outwardly. The personality doesn’t realize that the answer to wholeness and to authentic power is through the soul. You need to seek inward. Think about it. At the core of every conflict, be it marital problems, problems with friends and family, even war, is a power struggle. What the soul wants us to know is that this struggle is painful and counter productive. It is an outward power that will never bring you the love and peace you are searching for and actually (I love the way Zukav explains this) is really a LOSS of power. He describes that,
“You lose power when you rage against an injustice. You lose power when you are threatened by another person, or other people. You lose power when you distance yourself from your fellow humans out of resentment or bitterness, or a sense of disappointment or unworthiness or superiority. You lose power when you long for something or someone, when you grieve, and when you envy another. Beneath all of these is fear, fear that you are vulnerable, that you are not able to cope without the person or the situation that you miss, that you are at a disadvantage without that which you envy. You lose power whenever you fear. That is what a loss of power is.”

The soul will always make decisions based on love and complete acceptance. That’s it. Nothing else. This is TRUE power. Walking away peacefully from an argument is authentic power. Choosing to forgive and to love and accept someone that has “wronged” you is authentic power. Being who you are without the need for outward approval or status to garner attention and acknowledgement; THAT is authentic power. As Zukav so eloquently sums it up “Humbleness, forgiveness, clarity and love are the dynamics of freedom. They are the foundations of authentic power.”

I am a true believer that children are born complete and perfect souls. It is the nature of the adults and the world around them that might make them connect more on an ego or personality level. Children are SOOOOOOOO spiritually sensitive, their little souls ABSORB all of our shit. All of it. It is so completely crucial to the future of human kind to revere children as the amazing souls that they are. Every word, every action affects them. We all make mistakes and none of us are perfect parents but it’s all about awareness. We ARE going to screw up but every mis-step in the parenting journey will be an opportunity for us (and our children) to become authentically empowered. We just have to be aware of ourselves and our intentions. I mean its a lot easier to learn through love than pain, but we are all having a human experience and so therefore NONE of us are yet whole. Some of us are closer than others, but if you’re here you are still evolving. See why its so important to try to work out our issues internally rather than let them affect our children? As parents we should make it a daily goal to help our children minute by minute choose loving energy over fearful energy. Teach them, show them, all about authentic power.

If you have more than one child then your groundwork is already laid. No matter how kind hearted your kids are ALL siblings fight, so basically you are inherently given this opportunity EVERY SINGLE DAY. OMG sometimes my kids are so incredibly loving to one another. I look at them and know why I had multiple children. It fills me to my rim with joy to see their sweet interactions. And other days? I’m legit concerned one of them is going to rip the other’s head off. What is that you ask? Am I failing at parenting? Nope. THAT is the personality seeking external power. At this young age the ego is trying to gain a foothold in their world. You will either help them to feed their ego and the outward desire for external power will only get bigger and stronger and harder to contain, OR you can help them look within for what they are seeking. You can help them to become whole at a young age so their journey is an easy one. The home is a much better place to plant the seeds of true power than out in the world. It’s not like you will help them become authentically empowered and that’s it, job well done. Not at all. Each step of the way situations will continuously arise where we can help our children choose loving energy, it’s part of the journey. And listen, each child is going to be different. Some will get this lesson easier than others. It really depends on who they are, why they are here, and what their lessons are. DO we know these? No. It would be much simpler if we did, but if you make discovering this as important as taking your child to the doctor when they are ill the world will be a much better place. Just like friends and family some of your children will be more “difficult” than others. They are who they are and we need to give them the tools to become authentically empowered and therefore whole. It’s part of the reason why we are here and it’s our job as parents.

Another way to look at this and to help your children is to examine your interactions with them. Are you seeking external power over them? Do you think you are older and bigger and better and therefore need to dominate your children? This is not only hurtful to their individual journey but they are going to do the exact same thing to those people in their life that they feel are “less than.” As I’ve mentioned in other posts OF COURSE we have a level of wisdom that we are responsible to share with our children but one of the best things you can do is understand that you are not better than your children. You don’t have the right to shame, abuse, ridicule or judge. You must give them the same level of respect that you would give to your peers. You are a soul looking for wholeness just like they are, make sure you examine your intentions and what level of “power” you are seeking through your interactions with your children. These little guys have more wisdom than we know. And I love the way Zukav describes that “Power is not the ability to exert your will upon another person. There is no inner security in that kind of power”

I hope you were able to gain something from this post. I hope you are able to practice it and if you can, read the book! It is a GREAT way to look at the world we live in and answers a lot of the “why” questions I know you all have. Oh, and when in doubt, just say “yay!” Oprah does.

The Enlightened Mama