Archive | September 2014

Life Lessons

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You know how things ALWAYS happen in like little clusters? Maybe that’s where the term cluster f— never-mind, I’ll keep it clean. Whether or not it be good or bad the coincidental flow of life is something I have noticed for as long as I can remember. For some reason I’ve had a stream of similar things take place within the last week or so. It has all revolved around others testing my patience, it appears to be a theme. I’m self-aware enough to know it’s nothing major and it could always be much worse, but just little “annoying” things all piled on top of each other. I’ve received a few really rude emails from a couple different people in different areas of my life, snide remarks here and there and just in general feel like I’ve had a fair share of cranky encounters over the past several days…even from people I don’t even know. If you’re like me and spend a ridiculous amount of energy on figuring out how NOT to hurt someone’s feelings it is pretty bewildering when you encounter others doing the exact opposite. Something happened this morning and I had seriously had it. What the fa-hell? I called my best friend and vented to her. I said “the universe must really be testing me.” When I hung up it clicked….I AM being tested.

I read something a while ago by Buddhist teacher and author, Pema Chodron, that I have always taken with me. Things will not go away until you learn the lesson from them that your soul needs at this specific point in your journey. Her exact quote is “nothing goes away until it has taught us what we need to know.” This applies to major life obstacles as well as the daily nuisances. At first I was thinking patience was the theme, but I am a pretty patient person so after giving it a little more thought it dawned on me. It’s something I already know but I guess I need a refresher course. I have NO control over other people. I can’t control their energy, how they talk to me, what they do, etc. Wasting even an ounce of energy on trying to figure out why others do what they do is a lost cause. All of my energy needs to go into being who I am here to be. I can’t tell other people how they should behave, that’s their journey, not mine. I can however, lead by example. At this particular time I have a choice. I can turn into someone I’m not and really “give it back” to people or I can stay true to who I am. Oh and TRUST me I have some great snarky little comebacks in my head…but I will NOT give in. I’ll keep them in my head where they can’t contribute to any negativity. Well unless you’re a close friend, then call me. Really, some of these imaginary email responses and comebacks are SO witty, I’d love to tell just ONE person. Hmm…on the other hand that might be spreading negativity too…never-mind don’t call. If I give in and use my time on earth for a purpose of anything other than love, well then I failed the test. And if I fail the test the lesson will keep showing up in different ways. For now it might be as simple as someone hurting my feelings, but if I choose to take a path other than what is meant for me, that lesson in control over others will show up in a more major way. I think I’ll learn the lesson now and spare myself any more grief.

This is such a powerful lesson to teach our kids. It is so easy to want to react to all the little bad things that happen to them, to protect them or to fix things. What if instead we showed them that everything presents itself so that they can grow into the authentic person they are supposed to become? If we give them these tools early on they will live a much more peaceful life. What a beautiful gift to give them to approach life for exactly what it is, a place where we come to advance our souls (in my opinion).

The next time it seems as if the universe is REALLY testing you…it is! Ask yourself what you are supposed to learn from the situation and things will resolve on their own. However bad it may seem it is there for the growth of your soul. It is there to teach you to always use your spirit for love and for the greater good. Don’t let people or situations change who you are meant to be. And as always whatever you learn for the improvement of yourself teach it to your children.

xoxo

The Enlightened Mama

This entry was posted on September 29, 2014. 1 Comment

Back to school

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Im up at 6:00 am drinking my coffee. Normally this is my FAVORITE (like smiling of course). My kids are like 7am-8am risers, so when I can wake up to a quiet house and enjoy a cup or two of coffee before they get up, I savor every second of it. Today? I don’t want to be up by myself. I want my son to wake up. I want him to come down the stairs and snuggle me on the couch. And then I want him to stay that way for the rest of the day. You see, he starts 1st grade today and even though he made that transition to school last year with Kindergarten, this year feels so much more difficult….for me. It’s ALL day this year, and like every day. We’re talking M-F people. I stay home with my children. They go to part time pre-school a few mornings a week and then that’s it until they start public school. My kid has never been away from me all day, 5 days a week.

To my core I know this is all the way it’s supposed to happen. They’re supposed to be growing and really when you think about it, this is a GREAT thing. I mean what’s the alternative? We should be proud when these changes occur. I KNOW all of this, but for right now my emotions aren’t really lining up with my logic. For right now, I want to hit rewind. Those precious days with nothing to do but play dates and building forts in our pajamas are gone. Just like that. For 6 years I have been the teacher, the guidance counselor, the nurse, the lunch lady, the bus driver…all of it. Am I still all of those things? Sure. But for the better part of the week other people are all of those things. I love his school and I know that all of the authority figures in his life will only contribute to his development, I just hope that I have done enough in 6 years to lay the proper foundation.

I think the above quote is totally appropriate when talking about sending our little ones off to school, or any sort of transition really. By the way, I can never seriously discuss Socrates without   thinking about Bill &Ted’s Excellent Adventure. If you know what I’m referencing we are besties. On the other hand if you’re more of a Bogus Journey type of gal or guy, I’m sorry but I think it’s best that we part ways. Anyway, if I know that part of a successful spiritual journey is to live in the present moment, then it’s quite counter productive to spend my time wishing for the past. I can validate my feelings and know that they in part make up the whole of who I am, but I think I also need to know that these feelings I’m experiencing aren’t from my soul. My soul accepts everything as it is. My soul knows that my son’s journey is unfolding exactly when and how it’s supposed to. I DO realize this might sound a bit overly dramatic, but that’s ok. At THIS moment I am going to honor it, not take myself too seriously and then move on.  Today I will listen to Socrates. I am going to try with every fiber of my being to focus my energy on the great, positive changes my son continues to make in his life instead of fighting to turn back time. Hang in there mamas (and dads too).

As a side note I wanted to add that this perspective is completely my experience. If you are a working parent who has been sending their child to child care from the time that they were babies, please know that I am not undermining what you might be feeling when you send them off to school. I’m sure your sentiments are completely as valid and profound as mine. We are all doing the best we can at parenting and I NEVER intend to add fuel to the very unnecessary stay-at-home mom vs. working mom debate.

Much Love,

The Enlightened Mama