Wayne Dyer told me to read this book. Well maybe he told millions of others too but I like to pretend that we have a personal relationship. We’re friends in my head. Did you know Jennifer Lawrence is my friend too? Anyway, when Wayne tells me to do something, I do it. Just don’t tell him that. If and when we ever meet I’d like to keep my cool.
I absolutely loved this book. The message is SO powerful. Anita Moorjani had a near death experience and when she came back to this realm she had some pretty fascinating information to share. You should go read it….I know you’ll love it! If you’re thinking that the idea of a near death experience is too “out there” for you, read the book anyway. It’s very convincing and Anita has many details that make her story seem pretty valid….to me anyway.
The basic idea that I want to share from the book is about being yourself and staying true to the person you were supposed to be in this lifetime. Anita lived her whole life for others. She tried to live up to every standard her parents, her culture and society set up for her. She was a people pleaser. She was suffocating on the inside because she wasn’t living her “truth.” She actually believes her illness was in direct relation to the imbalance of her inner world vs. her outer world.
A lot of us can relate to this, women especially. We are so busy trying to be who and what everyone else wants for us that we neglect who we are to our core. We all have a unique spirit sent here to live a unique life. Isn’t it sad to think you could live your whole life for someone else? Part of the problem is that a lot of us aren’t even sure who we are. It’s been so buried under layers and layers of “fear.” Fear of what others will think, fear of rejection, fear of the unknown. If you feel a void in your life, if you have self-destructive behavior, addiction problems, relationship problems…I’d be willing to bet that there is a part of you that you are not honoring. There is a part of your soul that you haven’t shared with the world. As Wayne Dyer puts it, “don’t die with the music still in you.”
For me, this relates to parenting immensely. We all have such big dreams for who our children will be. What if I told you that doesn’t really matter? I absolutely believe we are given children to help them grow and provide guidance and to provide boundaries when they are young. But “who” they are can never really be determined by us. They come here with their own uniqueness. Their own light to share with the world. We should help facilitate that, but don’t ever try to change who they are to their core. It makes me think of that song I used to sing in pre-school “This little light of mine, I’m gonna let it shine. This little light of mine, I’m gonna let it shine. This little light of mine, I’m gonna let it shine, let it shine, let it shine, let it shine.” And of course most importantly, “I won’t let anyone blow it out, I’m gonna let it shine.” You get the idea. BTW I know you all just sang that. That song has literally always brought a tear to my eye. I don’t think I ever knew why, but now I’m pretty certain it was speaking to a truth inside of me that I was at the time unaware of.
Listen, I totally get that this belief of mine is going to be strongly tested when my children are teenagers and again when they are adults. And I’m not saying you just let them make any choice they see fit. Obviously we are here to raise them, and any behavior that is self-destructive or unkind to others is NOT being true to their light, so by all means this is where we intervene. But their interests, hobbies, where they want to go to college, IF they want to go to college, what they want to “be”, who they marry, which gender they are attracted to, etc. can not be determined by us as their parents. Those are things they need to figure on their own, the part of them that they came here with. We can help them figure that out, but never dictate it. I refuse to let my children, and my daughters specifically, be pigeon holed into a set of standards. I at one point felt like a people pleasing, doormat and I don’t want that for them.
My oldest child who is a boy is sweet and innocent and VERY sensitive. My older daughter is what I like to call passionate. SUCH a lover, lives life to the fullest and can at times be stubborn (she’s like her Daddy). My youngest daughter is as sweet as sugar but can be really shy. You have to work for her affection, but once you get it, man will she LOVE you. My point in sharing that is that they are all different. Some traits are like mine or closer to how I think a little boy or girl “should” be, and some of their traits certainly are not. And guess what? My opinion on the matter means not a whole hell of a lot. What matters is that I give them the support and guidance to be who they already know that they are. I don’t want to change them.
If you get a chance to read the book let me know what you think! There’s also some pretty interesting details of “heaven.” I put that in quotes because Anita believes this is a state and not a place. Pretty fascinating stuff!
Have a great day and stay true to who you are!
The Enlightened Mama