A people pleaser. Never makes waves. Shys away from conflict. Doesn’t like to upset others. Doesn’t speak up. Buries her secrets. Forgiving to a flaw. Questions herself. Relies on the opinions of others. Those are the exact words I would use to describe myself. A woman trying to navigate her way in a world that wants her to stay small. But something is changing. Something urging me to be and do more. That something? I was given 3 daughters.
As women we are born care-takers. We are nurturers and put other people before ourselves so it’s only natural that it would take an outside vehicle to move us in the direction of true worth. That it would take the desire for some one else to be more in order to finally see yourself as more. For me that came in the form of my 3 precious daughters. YES my son has made me grow in magnificent ways and who I am is equally important to his development, but my daughters? They make me be the woman that I wish for them to develop into one day. What I want for them burns a fire in my soul. Truthfully? It’s what I want for me too.
I want them to know their worth. To speak out, not in a manner of superiority, but in equality. Knowing that their voices matter and that they have something to give.
I want them to OWN a room. And not to say “look at me,” but in a way that says “here I am.” Here is what I have to offer. To be SEEN for all of the right reasons.
I want them to know that they are brave and strong and smart. No question is ever dumb and the ability to ask questions when you just don’t know is real and it’s how we grow. No man or woman is better or less. We are equal.
They are kind and loving and forgiving but they are allowed to set boundaries. They can hold others accountable for their actions and they can stand up for themselves. They can choose who and what they want to spend their time on. They aren’t a “bitch” for this. They have RESPECT for themselves.
My God I want them to know that they are beautiful. Beautiful, not in the superficial sense, but in a deep, radiant way where their beauty shines from within the depths of their loving hearts. They will grow old and age and wither away and I want them to know that all that will mean was that they used up every bit of life the world offered them. They LIVED and they earned the wrinkles and scars and wounds to prove it. They are not beautiful because someone tells them so, but because they own their power and they pave their own way. They are unique and comfortable in their own skin and they will never get that way from outside expectations.
That they will experience all kinds of relationships and the purpose of these should ONLY serve for growth. If it’s not serving them, it’s not for them. They may enjoy the company of man or woman alike but, and this is a big one, THEY DON’T NEED ANYBODY.
I want them to value their bodies. There is no shame. Shame is a label used to instill fear and to keep us small. I want them to know that the unique power a woman has to give life is beautiful and magnificent and sacred and that no other person may make choices for their body. No other person has a right to judge, use or violate their bodies for their own selfish needs and if they ever encounter unfortunate circumstances where that happens, I want them to know their strength. They are not victims. They are GODDESSES. And the magnificence of a goddess will always bring about people who want to knock them down. Don’t stay there. Get up because, YOU ARE FIERCE.
I want them to know that by their sheer existence they are important. They are loved and they matter and they can be who and what ever they choose for themselves. There is no “way” that a woman should act or behave. Quite the contrary. Don’t behave. Make WAVES, baby girls.
My sweet daughters, I look forward to watching you evolve and I honor where you are now. I thank you for making me rise up into the wholeness of who I was meant to be. I never truly knew the worth of a woman until I became a mother to people who could end up like her some day.
The Enlightened Mama